by Sarah Russell, CAN participant & staff

I think I always knew that I was different.

For so many years, I carried around this feeling of inadequacy without really knowing why.

When I found out about my autism diagnosis as an adult, it was the most validating information that I could have ever heard.

I was finally able to let go of the weight I’d been carrying and the pressure I’d been putting on myself my whole life. What I used to think of as inadequacies were actually just different ways of experiencing the world.

My name is Sarah Russell. Since 2015, I’ve been working with Canucks Autism Network (CAN) as a Support Worker, Coach, Onsite Supervisor, and Learning Facilitator. And in 2021, I learned of my diagnosis and joined as a Participant.

I began supporting CAN participants before knowing I was on the spectrum. Even then, I always knew that I could be myself at CAN programs.

My involvement with CAN first started when I was working through a partnered program in Victoria called PISE. PISE was looking to accommodate beyond physical disabilities and CAN was looking to expand on the Island.

I kind of fell into the role of CAN Coach, and once I started, I was hooked. I just loved helping participants develop their sports skills so they could ultimately access community programs or school programs or just keep up with their neurotypical peers on the playground.

Since starting at CAN, I’ve held various roles and find them all equally rewarding in their own way.

As a CAN Support Worker, it’s so fun to get to run around with the kids and get big silly reactions out of them, while also being the person who can help them integrate into new situations. I know how hard that can be because I struggled with it my whole life.

For so long, I felt like I had to hide my feelings and authentic experience just to fit in. Autistic people call this masking. When masking, you’re trying to present yourself in a typical way while suppressing your real feelings and experience. It’s upsetting, overwhelming, and uncomfortable.

For so many years, I was supporting CAN participants without knowing that I, myself, was on the autism spectrum. One of the most liberating things about becoming a CAN participant was knowing that I could leave my mask at the door.

I knew from my experience as CAN Staff that I’d be in a safe space where I could just be my authentic Autistic self.

Even when I’m having a hard day, I know I’m going to be supported. I know I’m going to feel heard. And I know I am going to be welcomed as I am.

Being Autistic, you’re already in a marginalized group. Those who identify as female are marginalized even further. So for me, having an opportunity at CAN like the Women’s Peer Support Group is so important because it creates a safe space for us to feel heard and included. We get to come together monthly to share our similar experiences while supporting and validating each other.

When you’re a person on the spectrum who has low support needs, it actually limits the number of resources that you’re able to access in the community.

CAN is really the only organization that I’m able to access.

If it weren’t for CAN, I wouldn’t be able to go the gym or be a part of social activities like bowling or rock climbing because the facilities are too loud and overstimulating. The experience itself wouldn’t even be enjoyable because I’d be forced to push so hard just to be in that space.

Because of CAN, I’m able to access community activities, be physically active, be social with my friends, and even make new friends.

When I think about it, my favourite thing about CAN is that it’s essentially home.

The people who work at CAN are like an extension of my family. Whether I go to a CAN program or event as a staff or a participant, I feel like I can let go of everything and just be myself.

It’s really the most comfortable and welcoming place that you could ever be.


More CAN Stories

Breaking barriers: From CAN to Chilliwack Minor Hockey

CAN removes diagnosis barrier for youth & adults to access programs

Why I Celebrate Autism Acceptance

“I want to help other kids like me.”

May 29, 2020

I quit homeschooling Kaya this morning and left with our autism service dog Dianne for a three hour walk, leaving my husband to take over.

When you’re a parent of a child with autism, you have to be on 24 hours a day. There’s no such thing as a break.

My name is Iveta Nelson and I’m the mother of two beautiful girls. My youngest, Kaya, has autism.

Mothers of children with autism have stress levels comparable to combat veterans.

Ever since we had to start homeschooling, Kaya has struggled with most of the activities that have been assigned to her. With so many kids in her virtual classroom, the instruction isn’t adapted to Kaya’s needs.

She doesn’t get the support she usually does in person. It has been very stressful and exhausting.

It wasn’t until CAN started putting their videos out that Kaya finally started to pay attention.

I could tell by her wide eyes that Kaya felt like the CAN coaches were talking to her. Watching another person doing the activity alongside her made a world of difference.

For Kaya, she feels safe and at home with CAN, so she sees the videos as being for her. So she pays attention. At school, she never feels like that.

The need for our online programs has never been greater. Give now to support CAN in helping others like Kaya.

This time has been really hard for us all. We’re just so thankful to CAN that we have activities to do at home that are short and simple enough for our amazing kids but challenging enough that they can work on their skills and still have fun!

And when they do them, they feel so proud of themselves. I know because I’ve seen the pride on my own daughter’s face.

Make a contribution to give families like the Nelsons access to vital online programs that can support them right now.

So thank you CAN and thank you to all of the people who make CAN possible.

Because of you, I have hope that our family will get through this.

Sincerely,
Iveta Nelson
CAN Parent


Give hope to families like the Nelsons. 

The need for CAN programs is greater than ever. With help from contributors like you, we can continue to support our community during and after this very difficult time.

Oct 23, 2018

Dear Canucks Autism Network,

Since being diagnosed with autism at age 10, my son Mitchell has been a member of the CAN Hockey Program. This October marks his third season with the CAN Surrey Stingrays.

I have wanted to properly share my thoughts about CAN Hockey for some time now. From the coaches and volunteers to the unique dynamics and benefits of the program – each and every facet has been so fantastic.

But beyond the skill development and experience of playing hockey, this program has given us far more than we ever could have expected. At the tournament this past spring, I was struck by three experiences in particular that I wanted to share.

Mitchell (left) celebrates with teammates at their 2018 tournament in Kelowna.

The first was the genuine feeling of being a part of a TEAM.

Teamwork is a powerful thing. Something so many of these kids have been searching for. A place where they are actually a meaningful part of something bigger than themselves. A place where they belong. But the team doesn’t end with the kids. It extends to the families, which brings me to my second experience.

The undeniable support. And I don’t mean for the kids – CAN provides this in spades.  I mean between families.

Through practices, team fundraisers and time on the road, the Surrey Stingrays spend a great deal of time together. As a result, our guards are down, there is a comfort zone, and there is established trust. We have always shared the commonality of being parents of kids on the spectrum, but now we SHARE. We have become a support group for one another where we can speak freely and be more candid in our struggles than we might otherwise be.

And let’s not forget the siblings. Each player on the team has brothers and sisters who come out to watch them play. These sibling supporters have gotten to know each other too. And by doing so, they now have friends who truly understand what it is like to grow up with a sibling on the spectrum. Most importantly, they learn they are not alone. Like the parents, it is essentially another little support group.

The third scenario I witnessed at the tournament almost brought tears to my eyes.

After a shift, one of my son’s teammates returned to the bench visibly upset about something that had happened on the ice. From what I could tell, he was in full “shut down mode” and was going to require some focused intervention.

The MOST AWESOME part was that the intervention did not end up coming from the coaches or the volunteers. It came from the players, as a team. They all rallied around their dejected teammate, encouraged him, and turned the moment around. In an instant, the situation had been defused and the player was out on the ice for his next shift.

I cannot put into words what it is like to see my son be a part of a team like this. Mitchell always dreamed of playing hockey. In addition to making his dream come true, CAN has given him a second home where he feels welcomed and accepted.

CAN has given this to our entire family.

Gary and Mitchell Bryant at the Surrey Stingrays’ first practice of the 2018-19 season.

By offering CAN Hockey, you have created a very rare, very unique support group that has helped us in so many ways. Because Mitchell received a relatively late diagnosis, he missed out on a lot of intervention. We are still learning about what it means for him to have autism. Being able to share our experiences with families that we trust has been invaluable.

So when friends and family ask us what CAN hockey is all about – what the benefits are – I tell them this:

It is about 20 kids, desperate to belong, who have found a second home wearing the same jersey. It is about the irreplaceable community of support that every family member gets to be a part of. Beyond hockey, this program has a much deeper, far reaching impact than I could have ever expected.

This is something real special, folks. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Gary Bryant

Surrey Stingrays 2017-18 team (Mitchell fifth player from the left)

RETURN TO BLOG HOME

This article was originally published in January 2018. Since then, Bob Shanks has raised ANOTHER $100k is nearing his goal of a quarter million raised entirely by himself for CAN. Incredible!

Jan 5, 2018

Each year, Canucks Autism Network (CAN) delivers over 450 sports and rec programs throughout BC. Ranging from weekly sports lessons to single-day family events, CAN programs impact over 3,200 individuals and families living with autism on an annual basis. But each program and event is only possible with the generous support of those who share our passion.

In 2012, Robbie Cruickshank, a young adult diagnosed with autism, had just heard about CAN. “My sister, Diana, was good friends with someone from the organization who was involved in fundraising,” Robbie recalled. “Being a huge sports fan, I was motivated to support CAN’s programs. I love hockey, football and basketball — both playing and watching.”

Most importantly, Robbie loved the idea of helping kids with autism play these sports too. He began simply by collecting donations from his family. Better known as “Bob Shanks” to those closest to him, Robbie began expanding his fundraising efforts. For five years, Robbie has hosted pub nights, spearheaded online campaigns and even gone door-to-door to support CAN programs.

“Pretty much any time I wasn’t working,” Robbie told us, “I was fundraising for CAN.”

In 2014, he was named the Top Individual Fundraiser at the CAN Family Festival, raising an incredible $10,128. Robbie not only held that title for the next two years, he topped his annual total each time with $26,000 in 2015 and $37,535 in 2016.

With years of dedicated fundraising under his belt, Robbie set his sights on a truly astonishing milestone in 2017.

$100,000 raised since 2012.

This past September, Robbie reached and obliterated that goal. His most recent total? $113,763 as of early-January.

But as inconceivable as it is for one individual to raise $100,000, the amount is not nearly as important as the passion that Robbie shares with CAN.

When asked how he could have accomplished something so incredible, Robbie answered simply, “I just tell people how it is at CAN – where the money is going and what the organization does.”

A couple of years ago, Robbie visited the I CAN Play Sports program, where he helped teach a participant how to shoot a basketball. “I told him, ‘Shoot it like you’re putting your hand in a cookie jar’ and he made the basket!”

For Robbie, seeing the joy that sports gives each child is what continues to motivate him. “I do it because these kids get to experience something that may not be possible without CAN.”

With over 11,000 families living with autism in BC, the need for help is greater than ever. Regardless of the amount, every contribution counts.

Thank you to Robbie and all of our supporters for sharing CAN’s passion. We could not do what we do without you.

To learn how you can support CAN programs, please visit canucksautism.ca/support.

If you would like to support Robbie’s ongoing fundraising efforts for CAN, please visit our online donation page and be sure to enter “Robbie Cruickshank” in the comments field.

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