Dear CAN Community,
From the moment she was born, Shayna was this positively delightful child, with a glowing smile.
In the beginning, she was hitting all her milestones – crawling, walking, and developing language. Over time, some family members started to lovingly alert me to some things they were noticing.
I didn’t want to believe it. As a first-time mom, I was scared, so it turned into more of a “wait and see” situation.
It wasn’t until Shayna’s Kindergarten teacher gently approached me that I started to give it more thought. She told me that she’d never met anybody quite like Shayna. She nailed it. There’s nobody in the world, quite like Shayna.
Anyone who meets her tends to use the same word: delightful. You can’t help but smile when you’re around her. Shayna loves inside jokes, often reciting them the moment she sees the people she shares them with. She has this beautiful way of making everyone feel special. Shayna’s smart and has an exceptional memory, but communication has always been her biggest challenge. It’s always been the thing that holds her back.
Before the diagnosis, I tried signing Shayna up for various community programs, hoping we would find the right fit. But the rules, unspoken social cues, and communication demands were all too much for her.
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I even enrolled her in a soccer program that promised to be inclusive. They genuinely tried, but they weren’t equipped to provide the support she needed. More often than not, she ended up off to the side with a coach instead of participating in the group. Eventually, I was asked to come onto the field to support her myself. It was heartbreaking and deeply disappointing.
It took a lot of courage to finally admit that it was time to seek a diagnosis. I don’t know what I was so afraid of. I think it was my lack of understanding of autism, and what her life would be like. Would she face judgment? Would I face judgment? Would she be bullied? How would she feel about being different?
With her communication challenges and unique support needs, her autism diagnosis didn’t come as a surprise. In that moment, I knew that my role as her mom was to help her feel proud of who she is and to understand what she needs to thrive.
One of the first things I did was sign up with CAN.
We started by attending CAN Sports Day at BC Place. Some of Shayna’s sensory challenges and fears made big outings like traveling from the Island to the big city difficult. She was terrified of public washrooms at the time and the big echoey stadium didn’t help. But everyone was so amazing with her. They met Shayna at her level.
The stadium was packed with families just like ours. It was so eye opening for me to see so many others on a similar journey. It made me realize that I wasn’t alone.
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It makes such a difference when you can go to a place that is autism-affirming and you don’t have to deal with the looks or apologize for any behaviours.
For example, Shayna loves elevators, and she has to be the one to push the button. But when we’re in public and she’s having a meltdown because she didn’t get to push the button, people roll their eyes like she’s a spoiled brat. She’s not. This is just really important to her.
In an environment like Sports Day, I don’t have to explain her needs.
In fact, I remember asking a volunteer if she could show me a washroom without an automatic flush. Without hesitation, she took me to the staff area so Shayna could have a quiet place to go. I didn’t have to apologize or explain anything. We experienced such kindness and understanding from everybody that day.
That was our first experience with CAN, and I just knew we found our place. I actually think I got more out of it than Shayna, just visually seeing the CAN community and feeling that this is our tribe right here. This is where we belong.
Sincerely,
Zahida, a CAN mom
P.S. Donations made by April 30th will be TRIPLED by Wheaton Precious Metals! Donate now >
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